Roger Rabbit Punching Nazis: The Lost Prequel

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During the summer of 1988 Who Framed Roger Rabbit? lit up movie screens and became an instant classic. Disney and Amblin Entertainment waved in the truckloads of cash while Robert Zemeckis, the film’s director, had done the impossible in pioneering never before seen special effects. In the current climate of Hollywood, it is hard to understand why Who Framed Roger Rabbit? remains a stand-alone film, but right after the success of the movie a script for a prequel was written, and it is just bonkers.

 

Overcoming Fears and Punching Nazis 

The script, written by Nat Mauldin, opens on a pastoral Kansas farm with a clueless Roger who believes he is a regular human. On the eve of his 18th birthday, he finds out that he was adopted and realizes he is a toon, which sets him on a quest to find his biological mother. His journey pairs him with Richie, a surly character filling a similar role to Bob Hoskins in the original, and they both arrive in Hollywood. Once out west they meet Jessica, who is shy, quiet and has yet to discover her bombshell ways, and while Richie tries to make it as an actor Roger is discovered by crashing into a set. This is all very short lived as the plot takes a heavy turn 1988-roger-02following the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour which inspires Roger and Richie to enlist in the army. The American government has high hopes for the newly enlisted toons and they fill the newsreels with claims of the toons being a type of super soldier which will quickly end the war. There is a great scene where a unit of human soldiers open fire on Goofy with a barrage of machine gun fire and missiles which don’t even phase Goofy, he even cracks a joke afterwards. However, the Toon Platoon is a colossal failure as the toons don’t want to kill anyone and would much rather just goof about on the battlefield. Eventually the toons, and Richie overcome their fears and obstacles and bash some Nazis all while Jessica discovers eye-liner and that signature red dress. They save the day, by killing a Nazi commander with a falling piano, and at the very end Roger finds his mother and discovers that Bugs Bunny is his father.

 

What Happened?

The reasons why a follow-up to Who Framed Roger Rabbit? didn’t happen, and probably never will happen, is an interesting story in and of itself. The original film was a joint venture between Disney and Amblin Entertainment, Steven Speilberg’s productionMickeyWithRoger company, and the production was marred with economic and technical problems. The film was originally budgeted at 30 million dollars, a number deemed too high by Disney and quickly swelled to double its original budget. The film struggled under its own ambition as the production crew couldn’t physically find enough animators to fill the cells, and certain compromises had to be made. The film was a very expensive gamble that caused countless headaches, but it did ultimately pay off. A huge reason for its success was the shock factor of the special effects, many of which had to be invented to fit the narrative, and being able to achieve the same effect on an audience again would be very difficult to replicate. Every now and again rumours of a sequel emerge but nothing has ever entered production. In the late 90s a CG, animated, and live-action film sequel was pitched, a link to some of the test footage can be found below, but the estimated budget sat at over 100 million dollars, which was just too expensive for the studios. Additionally, the legal climate surrounding IPs has changed radically from the 1980s making the necessary crossovers next to impossible to acquire. The Toon Platoon script is entertaining and the world of Roger Rabbit has many potential stories to tell, but unfortunately, is increasing unlikely to occur. It is interesting though that Who Framed Roger Rabbit? remains a stand-alone film (there is a handful of shorts that are equally entertaining which were produced around the time of the original), but being a standalone film it has allowed that movie to become an icon of the era in which it was produced.

-Ian Benke

Check out the Toon Platoon script here.

Check out the CG tests here.

Justice League the Sitcom: The Hilarious Failed JLA TV Show

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Batman v. Superman is fueling the hype train and has fans eager to see a live-action adaption of The Justice League. However, The JLA has been caught on film before, and it is hysterical. Back when Melrose Place and Beverly Hills 90210 reigned supreme on TV, someone over at Warner’s thought it would be a great idea to mix up The Justice League with 90s sitcom sensibilities. The show never got fully produced, but a pilot is floating out there on the digital ether.

Roommate Problems and Superheroes

The Justice League pilot could only fill the roster with the B-team due to licensing restraints, and as a result, is lacking the presence of the DC trinity; Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman. Instead, the show focuses on Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, Atom, The Flash, Ice, and Fire. The show finds the group of 20 somethings dealing with life’s ups and downs, such as losing an justiceleague2apartment or finding love, while also using their superpowers to rescue cats and, um, making umbrellas for pretty girls. It’s pretty great. The pilot kicks off with Tori Olafsdotter, the soon to be Ice, hard at work and comically avoiding the outdoors. After a lab malfunction, she’s suddenly, and with no explanation, granted the superpower of freezing water instantly. She then goes on to rescue a stoner skater dude, think Poochie with a helmet, from drowning by freezing the water around him. He just says, “wow” and nods happily. It’s never explained how he gets out of a solid brick of ice or how he managed to avoid hypothermia, but it’s great that Tori Olafsdotter got to save the day. While Tori is going through a life-changing experience, the rest of the team have got their own problems to tackle. The Flash can’t land a job because according to him he has no useful skills and gets kicked out of his apartment. Hilarity ensues from his misfortune as he is forced to move in with the Green Lantern, and in the style of the Odd Couple, hilarity ensues. The Flash, after only living there for a couple of hours, manages to re-arrange the Green Lantern’s apartment. Green Lantern is first slightly annoyed but eventually warms up to the down on his luck speedster. It is very obvious that the show’s producers were going for a Joey and Chandler dynamic, just with members of the Justice League.

Bashing Baddies

The villain in the pilot is known as the Weatherman, and he’s a doozy. The Weatherman manages to build a device to localize weather patterns and uses his amazing ability to terrorize the city of New Metro. He manages to also hijack all of the TV monitors in New Metro city in order to make his ransom demand of 20 justice-league-tv-show-the-atommillion dollars. Now, 20 million is a lot of money, but come on, this guy has invented a machine that controls and localizes weather. If he tried to sell that technology, a technology that could put an end to droughts, he could easily become mega rich and completely change the course of human history. But nope, instead he is going to use hail as a weapon and make funny weather related puns while the world’s shittest looking superheroes chase him down. Everything resolves itself and Tori is taken to the underwater spaceship of the Martian Manhunter and added into the Justice League. After watching The Justice League, it is quite apparent that comic book fans are in a golden age of superhero cinema. Even though message boards are filled with debates over Ben Affleck’s Batman or how crappy the last Green Lantern movie was, they are all still leagues above this TV pilot. For the first time in comic history, these characters are being taken very seriously by Hollywood, and as a result, interesting movies are being made with beloved characters. Just watch the pilot if you don’t believe me.

– Ian Benke

Check out the pilot here  .

The Ghosts of Hiroshima and Nagasaki vs. Butler Robots: The Origins of Big Hero Six

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After purchasing Marvel for billions of dollars it was a bit of a surprise that the first property Disney adapted was the obscure comic Sunfire and Big Hero 6. The original comic bares little resemblance to the 2014 Disney movie, and is kind of crazy. After reading the original it’s hardly surprising the Disney has altered so much, after all, there really isn’t a place for the ghosts of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki nuclear attacks in a movie for kids.

Bringing Back Dad and Fighting A Radioactive Ghost

In the Disney movie Baymax is an adorable, soft and gentle robot that could melt anyone’s heart. In the comics he is a shape shifting robot that switches between being a butler, complete with bowler hat, and a badass dragon. Oh, he is also the reincarnation of Hiro’s dead father who is secretly in love with Hiro’s mother because she has no idea that her dead husband is now a dragon. The rest of the big Hero Six team is made up mostly of of X-Men characters and a cute blonde whose superpower is carrying around a purse. She is pretty amazing though as her purse is kinda like Felix the Cat’s bag-o-tricks where she can pull anything out of it that she can think of. It’s like the Clueless version of Green Lantern. Things get rough for Big Hero 6 when the mysterious Everwraith shows up and kidnaps Hiro’s mom. The Japanese superhero team sets out to save the day only to find out that Everwraith is the spectral form of all the Hiroshima and Nagasaki victims. He then goes on to tell the quirky team of dragons and purse girls that his master plan is to turn one of them into a nuclear bomb and nuke Japan. His great idea is to nuke Japan because he feels that the original nuclear attacks did wonders in unifying the country, which made them more progressive. Perfect material for a kids film.

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The More Things Change, the More They Stay The Same 

It’s hard to understand why Disney chose to adapt this particular property, and even stranger still when it has very little in common with the source material. The comic is strictly focused on Japan and firmly set in Tokyo while the Disney movie is really just Avengers junior. 500101-sunfire___big_hero_6_1What’s even stranger, and raises some historical questions, is what the hell is San Fransokyo? The movie is obviously set in America, but did the Japanese take over? Did they win World War Two? How did the world of Big Hero 6 come to be? Why is Baymax so lovable? Unless Disney moves into some dark directions these questions will never be answered. They didn’t throw out everything though, they kept the name Hiro and Baymax and kinda, sort of, kept the two female characters. Honey Lemon is by far the most similar thing between the two stories. In the comics, just like in the movies, she’s an upbeat, blonde with big heels who uses her purse to dispense justice. In the comics though, her purse is a straight up, super powerful item with no real limits put onto it, and Hiro is obsessed with her. Gogo in the movie is known as Gogo Tomago in the comics, and while she’s got a chip on her shoulder in both, her power in the panels is her ability to transform into force energy which allows her to move, and attack, incredibly quickly. TJ Miller’s stoner character and Wasabi are nowhere to be seen in the comics, and their positions on the team are filled by Silver Samurai and Sunfire of X-Men fame.  Hiro’s still a boy genius, but in the comics he is super arrogant, super rich, and loves to wave a gun around. Their the perfect team to take on the fused together souls of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Big Hero 6 is a great kid’s movie and full of imaginative settings and characters, but the comic is really a completely different beast. Every Marvel fan out there owes it to themselves to read this interesting and short-lived series. It’s definitely not for kids.

– Ian Benke

Captain Kirk vs. Jesus: The Star Trek Movie That Never Was

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Four years before Star Trek: The Motion Picture came out Gene Roddenberry wrote a script for a Star Trek movie aptly called Star Trek II. Despite Star Trek always being ahead of its time when dealing with social issues, Star Trek II was too aggressive in its treatment of religion, something that scared the Paramount executives who ultimately passed on the film. People in 1975 just weren’t ready to see Captain Kirk and the crew face off against God. The movie, and its subsequent novelization, have come to be known as Star Trek: The God Thing.

 

The God Thing

The movie opens with a mysterious object near Jupiter suddenly appearing and directing asteroids towards Earth while destroying a Starfleet ship. The mysterious object causes people across the solar system to receive psychic messages in which it declares itself God, and through psychic manipulation convinces Starfleet that it Star_Trek_The_God_Thing_novel_coveris in fact, God. The Enterprise crew, who have all been promoted except for McCoy who has become a vet and Scotty who’s now a drunk, are all immune, because you know, plot. Kirk and the gang then go on to engage the menacing object which responds by becoming different interpretations of messiahs before settling on Jesus. They find out that the object is a very old spaceship with an advanced AI that is sentintent and extremely powerful. However, because every movie needs a villain, it’s programming has gone wonky and  has become a threat to Earth and only Kirk and the crew can save the day. It then tells the plucky bunch, after cutting off Sulu’s legs and then reattaching them, that it has come to Earth several times before and had some hijinks. It came before to inspire the early Israelites who worshipped it as a god, and then came back later on as Jesus to teach galactic law. Kirk and the gang convince the god thing to travel to another dimension and everything comes out peachy.   Pretty wild stuff, but it gets pretty weird at parts.

Covered in Oil and Popping Chubs

The studio rejected the script, according to Roddenberry, because of their religious views and the anti-religious views of the movie. In his own words Roddenberry gives an example.

It was too controversial. It talked about concepts like, ‘Who is God?’ [In it] the Enterprise meets God in space; God is a life form, and I wanted to suggest that there may have been, at one time in the human beginning, an alien entity that early man believed was God, and kept those legends. But I also wanted to suggest that it might have been as much the Devil as it was God. After all, what kind of god would throw humans out of Paradise for eating the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. One of the Vulcans on board, in a very logical way, says, ‘If this is your God, he’s not very impressive. He’s got so many psychological problems; he’s so insecure. He demands worship every seven days. He goes out and creates faulty humans and then blames them for his own mistakes. He’s a pretty poor excuse for a supreme being.’ Not surprisingly, that didn’t sent [sic] the Paramount executives off crying with glee.

Well that sounds pretty thought provoking and a good use of the Star Trek lore, he also wrote the following about Kirk encountering some sexy ladies, as Kirk does.

They were nude of course except for their paragame sandals, and young women that way had a disconcerting way of looking quite different. It disconcerted Kirk that the thought made his own genitals tighten against the metallic mesh which protected male vulnerability during the game

Only Captain Kirk could end up in a sexy, oiled up threesome and face off against Jesus in the same movie.

 

Jesus Reincarnated

If some of this sounds familiar that’s because a lot of these ideas were usedtmp_poster_art. Star Trek: The Motion Picture used some key scenes and character developments, like all the crew being promoted, while Star Trek: The Final Frontier grabbed onto the idea of God as a spaceship. What those works were missing though was the biting commentary that The God Thing was full of. Gene Roddenberry was incredibly forward thinking on countless ideas. Despite being a campy TV show Star Trek managed to tackle some heavy social issues with a tremendous of grace and intelligence. It would have been amazing if Paramount grew some Kirk sized balls and put this movie into production. Religion is a hot topic that too many people shy away from, and a topic Hollywood regularly avoids. It would be interesting to see the landscape of movies and pop-culture today if The God Thing had been produced in the 1970s.

– Ian Benke

Check out this link for the first part of the script

James Cameron’s Sexually Awkward Spider-Man

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Spider-Man has been through the ringer when it comes to live-action movies. From his hilarious Electric Company appearances to the abysmal Spider-Man 3 the wall crawler has had a tultmoutus relationship with the silver screen. In the early 90’s, hot on the heels of Tim Burton’s Batman, Spider-Man was poised to make his big screen debut with James Cameron at the helm, but the movie got caught in development hell and was abandoned. However, the scriptment, not quite a script and not quite a screenplay, of the dropped movie has surfaced online over the years and it’s pretty weird.

Waking Up Stuck to the Sheets

James Cameron’s scriptment follows a pretty routine formula for a super-hero movie. Most of the script is the familiar Spider-Man origin story, which has been covered by two movies, and sticks to the tale of a nerdy kid being bitten by some fancy genetically altered spider. You know the drill. What is definitely different in the Cameron scriptment is his almost singular focus on the fact that Peter is going through puberty. Peter wakes up the day after being bit and is stuck to his bed sheets by  thick, white webbing that is covering his hands and legs. Right after that scene Cameron wrote the following in the scriptment.

Hopefully this will be seen correctly as a metaphor for puberty and its awakening of  primal drives.

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To give Petey an outlet for all of those primal drives Cameron wrote in the familiar love story of Peter and Mary Jane. He definitely steered their romance in a stalking/bondage sort of direction.

Stalking and Binding for Love

One of the first things Peter does once he gets his spider powers is stalk the girl he has a crush on. Cameron constantly reiterates throughout the scriptment that Peter is the boy, and Spider-Man is, well, the man. Cameron wonderfully expresses this with the following excerpt.

 He feels like an adult for the first time. A Man. He goes to Mary Jane’s house. Drops down from the roof and looks in her window. She turns off the light, and thinking she is unobserved, strips off her clothes.

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On a separate stalking trip Peter sees Flash, her boyfriend, hitting her. It’s a pretty scummy move, to be sure, but Peter just rage storms on Flash. He follows Flash to his car and brutally beats him, slamming his head against the door of his Porsche, before telling him to stay away from Mary Jane. Then, being an angsty teenager wrestling with the throws of puberty, Peter reflects on how great it was to almost kill Flash. Naturally, Mary Jane falls in love with Peter and Spider-Man, but thinks they are separate people. At one point Spider-Man sweeps her away and takes her to the top of the Brooklyn Bridge and starts to recite the various mating rituals of his favorite spiders. He then webs her arms against the bridge, makes her close her eyes so he can take off his mask, and then they have sex. She doesn’t figure it out till later that Peter and Spider-Man are the same person. During the film’s climax with its generic villains, heavily revised versions of Electro and Sandman, Electro grabs Mary Jane and forcefully makes out with her in front of Peter. She’s really just a punching bag for all the male characters in this movie.

What Got Stuck

Lots of ideas from this 90’s scriptment carried over into future iterations of Spider-Man like the organic webbing and the general beats of his origin story . It’s odd reading the scriptment now after countless superhero movies have come and gone. It’s easy to forget about a world when there weren’t many superhero movies. The general structure of Cameron’s Spider-Man is now the standard formula for all of the Marvel movies, and in a lot of ways, it was ahead of its time.

-Ian Benke

Check out the scriptment here